Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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