Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
