Already got asked if we're dating
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
