I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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