Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
