This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
