drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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