he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
