There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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