we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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