Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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