how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
