just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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