I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You ate ashes out of my bong
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
