Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
