Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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