i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
