Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
