when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Semen is not good for contacts.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
