That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
