I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
