why didn't you poke me back
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
