About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it because I queefed?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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