he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
