drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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