every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
