is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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