yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
