i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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