i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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