she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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