Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
