Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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