playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
