Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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