Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
