ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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