You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
