I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
