Can Purell be used as lube?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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