I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
