Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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