8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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