: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
