No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just had sex bonerless
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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