the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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