Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
