Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
