I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
