just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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