what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
