im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
