He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Another day, another engagement, another cat
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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