Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
