I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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