im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
