Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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