i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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