I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
